Right now I am really nervous. I am at work and waiting for the time to pass so that I can just go ahead and get this overwith! The suspense is wearing me down.
So, here are the things I am nervous about:
- being cut open. I have never had surgery before and am a little freaked out by the thought of disrupting my uninterrupted body. I feel like I am breaking some sort of a seal, or putting a crack in something that was uncracked. I am going to have the scars forever.
- putting a foreign object in my body. Again with the purity complex (I am not claiming to be pure - you know what I mean!) I am introducing a completely foreign body into my body and it is going to stay there indefinitely! This is wierd
- The pain. I am a wimp and cannot deal well with pain. Am scared.
- Telling people/not telling people. I am usually an in-your-face tell you everything kind of person but have been strangely private about this. I am afraid people will judge me or scare me about it!
- Missing food. I have done the liquid diet thing just fine. It has not been fun, but it has been totally do-able (I am proud and shocked that I have been able to do this)
- Lastly, and most importantly, the possibility that I will regret this. I think it is slim but I know myself and know that there is a possibility this will happen.
I am at work so I can't write for long, but I will post more later, including pictures!
TTFN
